world.

so is this us? wtf would you do that, i just wna tell you straight up how i feel but no :/

world.

really?

you are really that insecure about yourself? OMG grow some fucking balls whore.

really?

yes.

tbh i actually couldnt care less about what anyone thinks of me, im healthy eating to feel good about myself not for guys or my friends. so fuck you all, and espically you :)

healthy healthy healthy.

for one year i will not eat any unhealthy food :)
for myself, not for anyone else, to feel good about myself.
FUCK YOU ALL BITCHES.

letter time.

tonight im going to write both of you a letter because tbh one of you is an idiot that i need to get over and the other one of you is nice but i need to let you go. so then this way i will be free of the pain that you have caused me and all the stress tat you put me through. boy1: your a faggot, i hate you for the ways you have changed me into a person that i hate, im not going to bother try making an effort until you do :) boy2: your annoying and clingy and as much as i want a guy that cares like you, you are not the one for me, and i will tell you this tonight, when i text you, when we talk about it. SO for me, no guys, hate them all, im waiting for HIM, although i am yet to find him. goodbye mother fuckers. I AM FREE.

cruel.

i hate this. i treated you so well and there for you any moment of the day and when i need someone to be there for me, you know you should be so you try, but you dont wna help me, so this is it... my ultimatim to you, even though you wont read it, its a ultimatim to myself, if you dont make the effort to talk to me before the funeral, i will never make the effort to talk to you, i will focus on my own life and the important stuff that does not involve you and your stupid self.

beautiful.

people say beauty comes from within, i dont know what to believe, i just wish i could the slightest bit skinny and pretty.

lyrics.

so how did you get here under my skin?
i swore id never let you back in,
should have known better than trying to let you go,
because here we go again.

explanation of my life.

this is basically how i feel everyday of my life. thanks to you.

a bunch of things that kinda describe how i feel.

and i now officially am done with caring for you.

oh the anger i have for you.

yeah, cool as, just tell me how you like one of my best mates, no biggy, its sweet.

yeah right, yup i hate hate hate hate hate you, you selfish fucking dickhead!

80's

i wish i lived in the 80's.

oh you.

you are an amazing friend :) you have made me realise so much about my self in the space of an hour, your not like all those other boys, your so different, so kind, you know exactly how i feel about him, and you helped me realise that i dont need him anymore :) he is a dick, and i do not deserve to be treated like he treated me, so thanks a bunch :)

gah.

why why why why why why why why do you do this to me.

you you you.

times like these make me miss you, but then i remeber how much you actually did hurt me.

its always you.

its never been about him, its always been about you, and im looking for reasons to trust you but there is not one, you do not care and you most likely never will, i hate this.

its always you.

you.

you started this, i loved you, you ended it, you broke me, you hurt me again, you still hurt me to this day, it was two years ago, but you taught me to have faith in people, thank you for believing in me jordan elliot shaw.

im not always going to win.

im not going to get everything i want, i will fail at things, things arent always going to be perfect, life will get hard, life will make you cry, but this taught me to never judge people by what you hear, its not always going to be true, stick up for the ones you love, try your hardest at everything because if you dont try you will never get anywhere. you taught me this, thank you, i have changed forever.

sorry.

i know i shouldnt have done what i did, but you do deserve it, after all the times that you have hurt me i finally have a chance to get back it you, now im over it, we can be friends again, i have no anger left for you, no one believes it anyway.

trusted.

i trusted you so much and you broke that so bad, we have been broken up for a year and today you made me cry so much. i thought you had changed but your still a dick and you always will be, i hope you feel bad because i feel worse. i hate the fact that you did this and im so mad at you right now. i want to call you up and go physco at you because honestly, i fucking hate you.

dick.

fuck you, your such a selfish person, we are meant to be related but you honestly dont act like it, i hope one day you realise that i was trying to build a relationship with you but you just had to ruin everything so i give up, fuck you, im not trying anymore.

hmmm.

saturday night was mad fun :) im so glad i saw you, and tbh i wish i had been drunker and gotten with you, but i hugged you and thats gotta be the best hug i have had ever, i miss you, still. i dont love you still, it feels goood, but you will be in my heart forever :)

wow.

its amazing how a day can go from being so horrible because of what someone said to so amazing because of what he said... you always know how to make me smile, maybe im over you, maybe im not but it was amazing to talk to you and to know that you feel the way i do actually makes me want to scream in happiness because you understand, you finally do, i got through to you, and you feel the way i do, im proud of my break through.

should.

i should be able to express myself, but your so judgemental, FUCK YOU.

im thinking its over.

im giving your braclet back today, its over, its time, im sorry.

bababababa.

bababbabababababba, i dont know what to do, i post on this too much, ohh well, no one knows.

of course you were.

you were all over him, you thought i wouldnt see, you cant let me have one guy, you can get any guy you want, not because your pretty, because your easy, and slutty, honestly you cant let me have one guy, wtf is wrong with you.

i want you.

i want you so bad, but idk what to do about it, because its over, right?

pros and cons.

pros: you make me feel amazing, i like you (i think), your cute, your amazing, you would never hurt me, you go to my school.
cons: i cant make up my mind.
i just realised its not what you do, its me, all me, you have never done anything wrong, im so sorry bradley.

peaches.

i miss you peaches, i miss you, i miss you, i miss you, and i dont know what to do, because i really do want you this time.

wall.

TBH I ACTUALLY LOVE MY WALL.

express yourself.

i never want anyone to find my blog, because of the fact that im afraid to show what i really am to those who are close to me. no one will ever know the real me, so for now il just express myself on here. to no one, maybe someone sees these but they wont know me, they will have never met me, but hey, im me, and no ones knows me.

innit?

innit, its what you used to say because your english. when you said it i thought it was cute. but now we are over and im starting to like someone else he says 'innit' which tbh completely puts me off him completly, thanks for ruining my life.

grr.

parents dont understand, please mum, please let me go, im begging you.

i want to be pretty.

im too scared to put this photo on a public site because i dont want my friends to judge me and i dont want people to see that im actually different.

mr right, where are you?

is there really a soul mate for everyone, or is it just for the people who are lucky. what happens to those who never find him, those who never find love and those who die alone. god, im begging you, please dont make me one of them, help me find him.